On Hold

Meaghan’s surgery is going to be delayed.  Last week she and Tracy met with Dr. Gurtner (Meg’s neurosurgeon) and evidently it was enough to completely freak Meg out.  Dr. Gurtner, who is nothing if not painfully frank and blunt (which can be a good thing), was explaining to Meg the risks of surgery.  Admittedly, even minor surgery has its risks.  One thing Gurtner offered to do in addition to replacing the missing bone in Meg’s skull was to also fix the area of her skull that had since sunken in a little following her initial surgery.  This sinking has created a funky, albeit not noticeable,  “alligator ridge” along the right side of Meg’s head.  Gurtner said she could fix the ridge by lifting the skull along that line, but explained that it is always possible that Meg’s brain tissue could be damaged in the process leaving her right back where she was after the accident.  Not good.  However, Gurtner assured Meg that if it looked like it was going to be an problem, or that the procedure could possibly further damage her brain, she would not do it.  Meg would just have to live with a funky “alligator” ridge (I told Meg it could be a fun conversation piece at parties or to scare little kids).

Apart from fixing the “alligator” ridge, Gurtner did explain that even replacing the missing bone has risks as the anesthesia could damaged her healing brain, though the odds of that happening are low.  Needless to say, that was enough to put Meg over the edge and she said she wanted to postpone the surgery entirely.  One thing Gurtner didn’t mention is that even when the missing bone is replaced that sometimes the body treats the replaced bone fragment as a foreign object and the bone will eventually have to be replaced with a prosthetic (either ceramic or titanium).  This is why in some cases, like in the case of Congresswoman Gabby Giffords, the removed bone is inserted into the abdominal cavity to keep the bone tissue alive until it’s replaced later on.  In Meg’s case her piece of skull was frozen.

On the plus side, there seems to be some anecdotal evidence (and maybe even scientific evidence, although I couldn’t find any), where the replacement of the missing bone flap actually improved cognitive functions as the normal fluid pressure around the brain is restored.  Gurtner didn’t mention that and instead said that people in other countries often live their entire lives without ever having their bone flap replaced.  Well, that might be good enough for other countries, but in America we don’t allow people to walk around with holes in their heads (or, at least, I hope that’s still true, although I sometimes have my doubts). 

On a more immediate and concerning note, Meg did have a second seizure this past Saturday.  She had come down with a stomach bug and I don’t know if it was from the virus or from any subsequent dehydration, but Meg started to experience numbness in her left arm and tongue that would come and go throughout the day.  In addition, the left side of her face would start to freeze up and later in the day she started to get a very peculiar and localized headache.   The seizure, or so I’m told, was earlier in the day when she couldn’t move her left hand and one of her fingers started to twitch a little.  Frankly, I thought that was a precursor to a seizure and not a seizure itself.  After all, I only have what Meg went through the last time to compare. What kept us from taking Meg to the ER, and despite her protests that we do so, was that her neurologist had previously told us that if she has another seizure we shouldn’t take her to the ER unless it was a prolonged seizure.  Finally, late in the day when her symptoms wouldn’t dissipate, and ignoring the neurologists’ instructions, Tracy took her to the ER.  Evidently it was good she did.  In addition to giving her Ativan,  which completely knocked Meg out, they did a few tests to rule out a stroke (as the symptoms are very similar), gave her fluids, and let her go home a few hours later a little loopy but symptom free.  I’m hoping we dodged a bullet or perhaps were only hit by a rubber one.  Of course, and as mentioned in my previous post, Meg is now technically an epileptic, and, God forbid, could be plagued with seizures for the rest of her life.  However, this incident did make me realize once again just how precarious and fragile Meg’s recovery continues to be.  Interestingly, when Tracy called the neurologist on Monday to tell him what happened, he told her she did the right thing taking her to the ER and to do so if Meg has similar symptoms in the future.  Go figure.  Also, the neurologist mentioned no surgery until her seizures are under control, something which I pray is soon.

On a side note, and while I’m no “House,” I did mention to Tracy when Meg was having signs of an impending seizure that we should call the neurologist (or have him paged since it was Saturday) to see if we should give her some Lorazepam (Ativan) we had on hand from Meg’s last seizure.  Evidently, and according to the ER Doc that would have been a good idea.  He even gave us another Ativan prescription should Meg have early signs of a seizure again.

And, on another side note, I attended a TBI (traumatic brain injury) support group the other night  (Tracy and Meg went to the last one).  I have to say I was literally scared to death listening to the problems people with TBIs and their caregivers have and how brain injuries can affect their entire lives.  Admittedly, no two brain injuries are alike, but some of the struggles these people are going through were heart wrenching.  I kept thinking of Dr. Gurtner’s words early on in this ordeal and that the most important thing Meg has going for her is “her age.”  It also made me realize how blessed we are with Meg’s progress so far.  Despite the horror stories and the potential for lifelong issues, I still pray Meg will one day soon make a complete recovery.

Finally, and while I’m not much for sentimentality even during this time of year (maybe especially during this time of year since so much of it is contrived and maudlin), I would just ask those who have been praying for Meg to take a moment to tell your kids and those near to you just how much you love them this holiday season.  Life is fleeting.

Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, having been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever, because “All flesh is as grass, And all the glory of man as the flower of the grass. The grass withers, And its flower falls away, But the word of the Lord endures forever.” Now this is the word which by the gospel was preached to you.

Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious. Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious, you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. Therefore it is also contained in the Scripture, “Behold, I lay in Zion A chief cornerstone, elect, precious, And he who believes on Him will by no means be put to shame.”  Therefore, to you who believe, He is precious; but to those who are disobedient, “The stone which the builders rejected Has become the chief cornerstone,” and “A stone of stumbling And a rock of offense.” They stumble, being disobedient to the word, to which they also were appointed.